Hello, kia ora, hoe gaan dit, namaste, ni hao!

Hi...

I have had an interesting time lately and it has been mostly with my thoughts. I have been doing heaps of research and reading and thinking about what I'm acually going to start studying! I was originally going to be studying Civil Engineering.

But my goals and dreams have change in such a short period of time, that I'm seriuosly considering a degree in Social Sciences!! I know it's crazy, I spoke to someone the other day and I was telling them how weird it is that it never occurred to me before to do Social Sciences, and they replied that perhaps I needed time to figure out who I was and what actually captures my soul.

I have a really keen interest in Community Development. Working with communities by allowing them to dictate and take ownership of the needs that will most benefit them.

Andy Crowe

Tuesday, 7 October 2008

So what 2... (pictures of faith)

I've been really humbled in recent weeks by the lack of love I've been able to show to fellow followers of Jesus! It is really frustrating...

I've found that cynicism has robbed me of genuine intimacy in the body of Christ. I've found that I do not have it all together. I've found that at times I've been blind to love of God in the very people of God. I've found that my deepest struggles are not with people and what they believe, but with my own insecurities, my own feelings and thoughts of wanting to be right.

At the moment I'm compelled to go on my knees, but often find that I lack the words and will to be honest with God, Jesus and myself. What do I say when I'm so convinced and convicted of the shortcomings in my life? How do I pray to Jesus in this moment of tremendous awareness of my unwillingness to love, when I know I should? So what do I say, what do we say to Jesus at that moment?

There is a story in Mark 10 that sheds some light on this, its in a totally different context to the one I find myself in, but still fills me with hope, expectation and a longing to more faithful.

The story in Mark 10:46-52 goes like this:
Then they came to Jericho. As Jesus and his disciples, together with a large crowd, were leaving the city, a blind man, Bartimaeus (that is, the Son of Timaeus), was sitting by the roadside begging. When he heard that it was Jesus of Nazareth, he began to shout, "Jesus, Son of David, have mercy on me!" Many rebuked him and told him to be quiet, but he shouted all the more, "Son of David, have mercy on me!" Jesus stopped and said, "Call him." So they called to the blind man, "Cheer up! On your feet! He's calling you." Throwing his cloak aside, he jumped to his feet and came to Jesus. "What do you want me to do for you?" Jesus asked him. The blind man said, "Rabbi, I want to see." "Go," said Jesus, "your faith has healed you." Immediately he received his sight and followed Jesus along the road.

What an encounter, right?! I think it's when Bartimaeus hears that Jesus of Nazareth is walking by, is in his midst, that he is filled with hope. But it's really interesting that he doesn't ask Jesus straight away to restore his sight. In his moment of hope and expectation Bartimaeus shouts! "Jesus, Son of David, have mercy on me!" Everyone else in the area then immediately tries to get him to shut up, 'but he shouted all the more, "Jesus, Son of David, have mercy on me!"

And Jesus responds.

It seems that no matter our situation whether we be blind to the love of God, calloused by our cynicism or overcome by our hurt and pain and disillusionment, when we call on the mercy of Jesus he responds. For Bartimaeus Jesus ultimately repsonds by restoring his sight. Bartimaeus' faith healed him. So what does faith look like for Bartimaeus? It looks like calling on the mercy of Jesus with expectation and hope.

Maybe faith isn't as complicated as I make it out to be? Maybe faith is as simple as calling on the mercy of Jesus to meet me in this moment. If there ever was an aspect of faith that we could be totally sure about, it would be that Jesus will respond to us with his mercy! Jesus will respond! Perhaps his mercy might be shown by restoring your sight or it might be totally different from what you expect. But be assured, he will respond and you will know his mercy. Call on his mercy!

AndyC

Wednesday, 1 October 2008

So what!

Jesus...Faith...Doctrine? As I mentioned in a previous post, when looking or trying to understand faith from Jesus' perspective we'd be better off looking for how to live out faith instead of just...trying to understand? Does that make sense. Ok I'll get to it!

In Mark, chapter 9 to be exact, there's this amazing story. There's just so much to see, like Jesus for instance you basically feel the tension and heartache, maybe even anger in his words, "O unbelieving generation," Jesus replied, "how long shall I stay with you? How long shall I put up with you?..." It's like he's just waiting for people to get alongside him and be part of what he's doing!
But when Jesus talks about "unbelief" what does he mean?

Then theirs the dad and his kid! The Dad sheds so much light on what faith could be considered to look like. After Jesus asks him what wrong with his son, the dad exclaims, "I do believe; help me overcome my unbelief!" What does Jesus do?

He heals the Boy! Not only does the dad struggle with "unbelief" he is taking on the faith of his son. So, two things, the first; having faith is not about conjuring up magical powers from God to know, that you know, that you know that everything will be ok. No, it seems that faith consists of being honest with the way things are, not pretending that you feel like crap, or that you doubt whether or not God will show up. But faith is not just wallowing in those unredemptive feelings and thoughts.

Secondly, having faith is not all up to me! Do you know how good that feels? I don't have to be all good all the time, I can be honest, I can be human, I can be me. I can rely on friends and family, when I just...don't....have the strength to pull through those times when I doubt and curse and can't see God in the situation. It's not all up to me, I have my part, but I don't need to pretend anymore.

I'm not suggesting that what I've written is 'the' model of faith, but I do think it's part of it. Why else would that story be in the Gospels?

AndyC